More Jokes and humour sites or funny stuff.  Have a laugh, crack a grin, smile it's good for you. (humor as they say in the USA) or just good fun anywhere else.

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Joke (Feb, 03 2012 08:59 PM)

Sat, 04 Feb 2012 04:59:13 +0000 - Man: "Hey, baby, if you come home with me, I can show you a really good time."

Woman: "You know what your problem is? Your mouth is writing checks that your body can't cash."

Joke (Feb, 03 2012 04:59 PM)

Sat, 04 Feb 2012 00:59:13 +0000 - 4 people in the carriage of a train - an Englishman, a pretty young blonde girl, an ugly old woman and a Frenchman.

It all goes dark when the train goes through a tunnel. In the dark there's the sound of an almighty slap, and when the train emerges from the tunnel the Frenchman is rubbing his face, and there's a huge red mark on his cheek.

The old lady thinks: "I bet that Frenchman fondled the blonde in the dark and she slapped him."

The pretty young blonde thinks: "I bet the Frenchman tried to fondle me in the dark, got the old lady by mistake, and she hit him."

The Frenchman thinks: "I bet that Englishman fondled the blonde in the dark, but the blonde thought it was me and hit me."

The Englishman thinks: "I hope there's another tunnel coming up soon so I can slap that French twat again."

Joke (Feb, 03 2012 12:59 PM)

Fri, 03 Feb 2012 20:59:13 +0000 - A Chinese man rings his boss and says: Me sick I cann`t come to work.

The Boss says: "when I am sick, I fuck my wife ... try that?"

Two hours later the Chinese man rings back and says: "Me better now you got a nice house!"

Joke (Feb, 03 2012 08:59 AM)

Fri, 03 Feb 2012 16:59:13 +0000 - There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.

Joke (Feb, 03 2012 04:59 AM)

Fri, 03 Feb 2012 12:59:13 +0000 - Did you hear about the $3,000,000 Kentucky State Lottery?

The winner gets $3 a year for a million years.

Joke (Feb, 03 2012 12:59 AM)

Fri, 03 Feb 2012 08:59:13 +0000 - A Boy wanted to have sex with his girlfriend. But she was refusing all the time. So he went to see his friend and asked him what to do about it. His friend had a brilliant plan. He said: "Next time you meet her under the tree behind your home. I will be up in the tree waiting for you. If she refuses again you ask God in the heaven whether you can have sex with her or not. And I will give the right answer to you and her."

The days went by and one Saturday afternoon he met his girlfriend again. They both went to that tree and he asked her to have sex. She refused. So he said to her: "And, my dear, if I ask God in heaven, would you follow his advise?" "Yes, I would" she said. So he asked: "Father in heaven can I have sex with my girlfriend?" And the voice from heaven said: "OK my friend, go ahead!" And so they had sex the first time.

But the boy asked his friend to do him this favour every week, and he did. But the last time when he asked God in heaven, the father answered: "My dear friend below, step aside and let your father in heaven have a go!"

Joke (Feb, 02 2012 08:59 PM)

Fri, 03 Feb 2012 04:59:13 +0000 - Construction worker on the 5th floor of a building needed a handsaw. So he spots another worker on the ground floor and yells down to him, but he can't hear him. So the worker on the 5th floor tries sign language.

He pointed to his eye meaning "I", pointed to his knee meaning "need", then moved his hand back and forth in a hand saw motion. The man on the ground floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, whips out his chop and starts masturbating.

The worker on 5th floor gets so pissed off he runs down to the ground floor and says: "What the fuck is your problem! I said I needed a hand saw!"

The other guy says: "I knew that! I was just trying to tell you - I'm coming!"

Joke (Feb, 02 2012 04:59 PM)

Fri, 03 Feb 2012 00:59:13 +0000 - Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled their latest Stamps?

They had pictures of lawyers on them and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on.

Joke (Feb, 02 2012 12:59 PM)

Thu, 02 Feb 2012 20:59:13 +0000 - Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist. If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for five years. The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board looking over an empty swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump.

The first patient jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms.

Then the second patient jumps and breaks both legs.

The third patient looks over the side and refuses to jump. “Congratulations! You’re a free man. Just tell me why didn’t you jump?” asked the doctor.

To which the third patient answered, “Well Doc, I can’t swim!"

Joke (Feb, 02 2012 08:59 AM)

Thu, 02 Feb 2012 16:59:13 +0000 - A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. You know what?"

"What dear?" she asked gently, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.

"I think you're bad luck."

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